New Blog Design

So if you haven't checked out my blog lately.  I've had a complete overall done.  Special thanks to my friend Megan Johnson and Ginger Shook for introducing me to  Jenisa Ritter @ Pixel Me Perfect (www.pixelmeperfectdesign.com) who redesigned my blog.  I think it's super cute and fits us to a T.  We are in the process of working on Baby Fiveash's room.  Paint colors have been picked out.  Fabric bought and a special friend is making the baby beding for little Baby Fiveash.  Now if wal-mart would just get the baby bed back in stock we would be in business.  I promise pictures to come soon.

It's Official ... We are paper pregnant!!!

This week has been full of excitement around our house.  We received the official "text message" on Tuesday that our homestudy was approved and our names were being added to the list of waiting adoptive families.  I'll have to admit when I first got the text I had to read it twice and while I was excited and immediately called Nick I don't think it actually sunk in until I was on my way home from work ... I just couldn't stop crying tears of joy.  For you see while I have had the experience of reading the "positive" pregnancy test those joyous memories were soon erased by tears of sadness as both of my babies were called home to be with the Lord way too soon.  So this joyous news of "officially approved" was like getting to shout to the whole word I"M PREGNANT!!!! (just remember this pregnancy might be more than the usual 9 months)  The next few days were spent scrambling around getting the last remaining documents needed  - like signed picture releases and all and getting our profile books mailed to Bethany so they could be shown to birthparents.  As the reality of what all was really taken place was setting in God brought me to a very humbling place ... it was like He was telling me "my child you have persevered and withstood the test of patience ... Here is your reward!"   As I drove to the post office to mail the profile books to Bethany I stopped to lay my hands on the package to pray for all the birthparents who will read these books.  If you don't know the process; with our agency Nick and I have listed criteria for which we are looking for in a child and birthparent and the birthparent will list criteria for what they are looking for in potential parents for their child.  The agency then complies all the information and our profile book is then shown to birthparents who meet the combined criteria.  We are chosen to be parents based on a book!! Well that's not all exactly true ... we may or may not meet the parents but anyways that's the gist of how this works.  So you see these are books are pretty special; so on this very day I asked God to place His hand of guidance over these books and His hand of patience over my heart. 

Many of you will never fully understand the heartache that comes with years of infertility and while I would not have chosen this path for myself I am glad that God chose me for this journey.  Although it hasn't been easy, I wouldn't change a thing.  God has definitely made be a better, stronger person through this journey.  So here we start out on the second leg of this adoption journey ... the waiting one.  But never fear I have lots to keep me busy.  The nursery has to be painted, furniture to be bought, and bedding to be made.  So while I would love for my next post to be all about introducing you to Baby Fiveash, I hope you are all prepared to wait the journey with us and believe me there will be lots of pictures once this sweet baby arrives.

Love,
Phyllis 

Educational Day at Bethany

This weekend was our mandatory educational day at Bethany in Jackson, MS.  I will admit at first I looked at this as just a mandatory day we had to complete but I have walked away with a much different attitude.  It was quite an informing day.. lots of information provided on subjects we had honestly not thought about before.  However, the best part of the day was the afternoon session where we were able to listen as two birth mothers poured their hearts before us and shared why they chose adoption for their children.  There was not a dry eye in the house.  Adoption has always had a stigma that women are "giving up" their babies because they are not wanted and that is simply not the case.  These two young women put their selfish desires aside and chose what was best for their children.  I sat there in awe thinking this is exactly what our Savior did for us ... He gave His life so that we as His children could have eternal life.   I can't think of a more selfless act that we don't even deserve. Yes both of these young women could have kept their babies and raised them the best they could but the knew that there was so much more they deserved they could never give them.  So instead these precious mothers aren't just giving up their babies for their selfish desires they are giving "us" one of the best gifts of all ...  A BABY !!!  So for that we will be enternal grateful.  So now that our homestudy is complete the hard part comes ... waiting.  While waiting seems like forever, Nick and I have realized that no matter how much we want a baby on our timing ... we must simply wait on God's timing for He already knows the sweet little baby that will join our family and He is waiting for just the perfect time ... His time.

Love,
Nick and Phyllis

The Countdown is On ... 3 days More Days

So the countdown is on ... this Thursday (March 7) is our official home inspection day!!! Excited, nervous, scared all in one.  I guess the not knowing of what all will happen is the scarriest part.  I know we have several things covered already ... our home is clean, we have plenty of room to welcome a sweet little baby, and we live in a safe neighborhood.  We have been cleaning all weekend getting ready for the big inspection day and if you know me I HATE cleaning, but all in all it was a good day.  The hubby even helped!!

I haven't updated in a while so here's the latest.  Everything is right on track.  We survived the indivdual interviews with the social worker ... she now knows more about us than our own parents.  All of our requred paperwork is in (in case you need to know we passed the FBI inspection!!!), just waiting on a few more personal references and employer references to go.  After the home inspection on Thursday we have to complete our adoption profile books and attend an  educational day in Jackson, MS on March 23rd - then we will officially be approved for adoption. As I like to say ... We will be Paper Pregnant then !!! Ha Then we just WAIT!!!  We wait on God's perfect time for our sweet little one to arrive.  In the meantime we will be praying that God will prepare our hearts and home for all the sweet blessings He has in store for us  and most of all we pray for the birth mother (birth parents) that will choose us to raise their miracle from above!!!!

Love,
Nick and Phyllis

Two of a Kind Adoption T- Shirts

 Many have asked how they can help support us through our adoption process ... so here is a way.  Above is a t-shirt that was designed by the talented Kristin Tull of Corinth, MS.  It's great!!! We are selling these shirts in an effort to share our story with friends and family and to help support some of the costs that come with adoption.  If you are interested in purchasing a shirt there is a link on this blog where you can purchase a shirt through our pay pal account or you can mail me your money and order to:
Phyllis Fiveash
53 CR 635 Corinth, MS 38834

Thanks for all you do,
Nick and Phyllis

P.S. I will be taking pre orders for a few weeks and will then place an order.  I will also be ordering extra's if you don't make the pre-sale.

Yeah for Terrific Tuesdays!

Oh what a relief it is to be in God's will, an though there has been hurt and heartache along the way Nick and I felt today we were right were He wanted us to be.  We LOVE our social worker/adoption specialist!! She made us feel so welcome and at home in her cozy little office; actually the staff were welcoming.  It was more like a conversation between friends rather than an interview and the good Lord knew my nerves couldn't handle much today.  She confirmed today that things are right on track.  We are waiting on our FBI background check to arrive.. we all know how the government puts things off and then all the paperwork portion is complete.  We are scheduled to return to Columbus on February 21st ( a special day for our family because it's my nephew's 8th bday..wow 8 really??) for our next visit with our adoption specialists.  This will consit of another joint interview and then our indiviual interviews...this may be a little nerve racking but I'll go first so Nick can sweat it out in the lobby :).   Anyways then the next step is our home review.  She gave us a check list of all the things she will be looking for and thank goodness she's not looking to see a completed nursery because we are way behind on that.  I do have ideas for the nursery but just haven't gotten to them yet... who me busy??  During the meantime we will be working on our adoption profile that will be a picture book of our lives and family that will be shown to the birthmother ... she will choose us based on what she see's here (glad we are photogeneic !).  After that all that's left is an all day educational meeting on March 23rd and then were are completed and approved (pending nothing major happens).  And then we WAIT!!!! We wait on God's perfect timing for us two and pray for Baby Fiveash's arrival.  So all it all it was a Terrefic Tuesday just as He promised!

With all our love,
Nick and Phyllis

A Leap of Faith Can Provide a Multitude of Blessings

If you would have told me how blessed we would be just by saying "Yes" to God's will and perfect timing for our family I just might not have believed you.  I've listened to countless Bible stories growing up about God blessing his followers but I guess I just didn't fully understand the concept until now. Through our journey with infertility and now our journey with adoption we have met an innumerable amount of new friends God has designed just for us; and some of those friends have become almost like family. I truly believe God places people in our lives who will help mold and shape our lives into the people we become Or choose to become.  So for all the new friends we have made through our journey and for the new ones we will continue to make we are both beyond grateful for your friendship and will never be able to truly thank you for all you've done. And most of all Baby Fiveash thanks you too!

With all our love,
Nick and Phyllis

Terrific Tuesday... at least I hope it will be

Nevous is not quite the word to describe my emotions right now.  It seems we have waited so long for this day and yet here it is (well still just a few days away). Our first social worker meeting is on Tuesday!!!  All the paper work has been completed and mailed and boy was it a lot to mail; I even asked the postal worker for double insurance on that package.   When this is all over Bethany will probably know more about me and Nick than our own family does.  We have had physicals.  Nick got to experience the joy of going to the health department for a TB skin test, finger printing at the Jail, and signing tons of papers ... well it's all now complete. YEAH!!!!  So we are now scheduled to meet our social worker/adoption specialist Tuesday, January 29, 2013 at 8:30am in Columbus, MS.  As most of you know I am NOT a morning person so needless to say this day will be interesting, but with lots of prayer from ourselves, friends, and family we will make it though.  And I will be the first to admit without prayer we would have never made it this far.  So if you have some extra prayer time this weekend some extra prayers for a good first meeting on Tuesday will be very much appreciated.  For as you know first impressions really do matter.

Many have asked how they can help without our adoption ... and well you are already doing it ... PRAYER!!!  We have both found through this journey prayer changes everything.  But we will also be selling t-shirts and the money will go to help with our adoption costs and most of all spread our adoption story!  I am currently in the process of working on a design and hope to have it ready soon (if you know me you know I don't have a lot of spare time lately).  Also many of you know as I have gotten older my creative side has decided to blossom and I have started sewing and monogramming so my proceeds are also going to our adoption journey.

As I close this post I would like to share with you a verse that has been one of my favorites for many years, but has been more special to me since we have embarked on this adoption journey ...

But they that wait upon The Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.  Isaiah 40: 31.

Love,
Nick and Phyllis

A Tiny Baby Can Change The World

December 25, 2012

As I reflect over the many blessings bestowed on my family this Christmas, I am in awe of God's miraculous wonders.  We have had a very blessed Christmas and a year full of enumerable blessings; I can't even begin to count them.  We are healthy,prosperous, and live in the land of the free.  As I reflect over the past year, Nick and I have been blessed more than we deserve but we also realize there are pieces of our family missing.  As I scroll through Facebook and see all the little ones celebrating their first Christmas I feel joy and happiness but I also feel loss ... for you see our littles ones would be enjoying their Christmas today too.  But as much as my heart aches for them they are in Heaven celebrating with the sweetest baby of all... Baby Jesus of whom we celebrate his birth today.

As most of you all know by know Nick and I formally signed with an adoption agency on November 13, 2012.  We are currently in the process of filling out lots of paperwork and hope to have our home study complete by spring and be illegible to be adoptive parents.  While neither Nick nor I felt the call to adopt at the same time ... the point is we ARE called and we are here to open our home and our hearts.  This Christmas we pray for the new baby that will be joining our family in the future and we pray God will begin to prepare our hearts to be the Christian parents he has called us to be.

So this Christmas and through the upcoming days until we are united with our precious little one we ask you to join us in prayer.  First of all we ask for you to pray that God's will be done in all the lives involved in the process.  Second, we ask that you pray for the birthmother who will unselfishly share her tiny miracle with us.  Third, we ask that God will help make provisions financially for our family that we may accept the call God has laid before us.

Christmas Blessings From Our Family To Yours,
Phyllis

We all need showers of blessings

Over the past few years I have attend many showers (some wedding showers but mostly baby showers) and while I was calm and collective on the outside inside I felt I was falling apart. For the most part I kept my feelings of jealousey and bitterness to myself. ( I will admit though my family has heard their fare share of my pitty party of why me) It's often bitter-sweet hearing the news of friends and lovedones sharing their exciting news; I can often put on a good front but the minute I am alone I fall apart. For those of you who have never longed to be a mother or have a family it can be a hard emotion to explain. I've learned over the past 6 years of attending baby showers and waiting on the Lord that miracles do happen. While Nick and I are still waiting on God's perfect timing I was reminded tonight of what on "on time " God we serve. I was made aware of a couple who have longed for a child much like Nick and I and after years of failed attempts God has shown up and blessed them abundantely; just at the right time. Have you every wondered where are your showers of blessings? Well in all honesty I wonder this often. I know deep down I am blessed beyond measure; I have been blessed with more than any one person should but I often wallow in my own self pity and wonder when will I be blessed; when will my big miracle happen. As I sit here and write this blog I am reminded of the old gospel song "showers of blessings." There shall be showers of blessings. This is the promise of love. There shall be seasons refreshing, sent from the Savior above. Showers of blessings. Showers of blessing we need. Mercy drops round us are falling, but for the showers we plead. So why I learn (often times the hardway) that God's timing is always best. I will remeber the showers of blessings that befall on me daily sent from my Savior above. Love, Phyllis

Choices

Many have asked lately where we are in our adoption process so I thought I would give everyone a little update.  Nick and I have been extremely busy with work and church activities that we haven't made it very far.  We have been talking and praying and seeking God's will.  We are still researching agencies to find just the right fit for us.  Hopefully after the month of May our schedules will slow down some and we plan on trying to meet with another agnecy in June.  We are trying not to rush into anything; we are just taking it as it comes.  We don't know when or how God will choose to "grow" our little family but we are faithful that He will in His time.  ( and yes His timing is not near what my timing is).  We've prayed and talked about would we be "ok" as a couple if it remained just the two of us and I feel that if that is God's will then He will comfort us but I feel God will prevail and He will bless us in more ways imaginable.  Yes I have even prayed that if it was not meant for us to have children then He would remove that desire from my heart and so far He hasn't (that was the harest prayer I ever had to pray).  So until the time comes we will be faithful and continue to be thankful for all our many blessings we already have that we don't even deserve.  Thank you all for thinking of us and praying for us.  We love you more than words can express.

Love,
Phyllis and Nick

Waiting is hard to do

Waiting no matter how old you are is hard to do. Over the last five years as we proceeded with our adventure of having a family I've had to learn to be patient. My husband would say I am not a very patient person but consdering all that's happened in the last 5 years I would say I am LEARNING to be patient. As many of you know Nick and I went to talk with New Beginnings Adoption Agency in Tupelo, MS. I went prepared with my pen and paper and my list of type questions ( yes I have a little OCD in me ). We met with a very nice person who answered all of our questions and then some. I am in awe of those who have gone through or are going through the process of adoption. In what I have learned over the past several weeks during my research of adoption agencies it can be a long, emotional process. I've said it before and I've heard many people say "if there are so many babies in the world that need adopting...why does it cost so much or take so long?" Well I wish I had an answer but my parents always taught me good things come to those who wait....so here we are waiting...even though it's hard to do. We are still prayerfuly considering which adoption agency will best suite us and also hoping that maybe a birth mother would find us and we have a private adoption; but either way we are prepared to wait for our blessed little one. So right now I will do the only thing I can do...Pray. 1 Samuel 1:27 says For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart. So even though I have never met you ,little one, I pray for you daily, and know that God will join us together in His time .... Love your momma xoxo

Dive right in

Well I guess there is no better way to get something accomplished except for diving right in.  So here we go diving in head first and hoping we don't hit rock bottom.  We are scheduled to meet with a social worker at New Beginnings Adoption agency in Tupelo, MS this week.  There are so many emotions and questions running through my head right now I wouldn't know where to start telling you about it.  Nervousness and scared are the two biggest ones right now.  Oh of course I've heard lots of comments (all mostly good, some negative) since we let our family and friends know we felt called to adopt.  We have not commited to any particular agency yet but we have several questions regarding the adoptive process that we need answered first. I try to remain positive but most of all I'm scared of getting hurt.  My heart has delt will loss in a whole new way over the last year and I'm scared of diving into something new.  But I am putting my faith in God and trusting that he will provide a clear path for our next steps into our new adventure as parents to be.   I look forward to the day we can introudce Baby or Babies Fiveash to our friends and family.

Love,
Phyllis